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That's where the forgive but not forget principle comes from. Essentially you're taking responsibility for your response to the situation rather than blaming the other person. You may not trust the person or even let them into your life, but you feel compassion for them and wish them well. Though it could be argued that it's not true forgivenessNo. Because everyone does not deserve forgiveness. Some want it then turn around to do the same thing they're asking forgiveness for.
Don't hold grudges, they aren't good for you!
I remember you saying you forgive but you don't forget in our discussion on handling insincere apologies here: https://offtopix.com/threads/i-dont-accept-your-apology.42247/It depends on the situation. But yes. I believe in forgive and remember as to learn from what happened and how maybe I can prevent it from happening to me again.
I remember you saying you forgive but you don't forget in our discussion on handling insincere apologies here: https://offtopix.com/threads/i-dont-accept-your-apology.42247/
As I said, and I stand by it, not everyone deserves forgiveness. It is not my responsibility to forgive them if I choose not to especially if they have done something that cannot be forgiven. I cut them off and think nothing more of them. Life is too short to entertain foolishness. I'm too old for that. Being honest, I'm not going to pretend to have feelings of compassion and wishing them well because that's fake. Like I said, I rather not even think about the person.That's where the forgive but not forget principle comes from. Essentially you're taking responsibility for your response to the situation rather than blaming the other person. You may not trust the person or even let them into your life, but you feel compassion for them and wish them well. Though it could be argued that it's not true forgiveness![]()
Reminds me of this song.
For me personally? I don’t believe anyone is inherently good or bad. Ppl mature. You can forgive someone and still cut them off.I might forgive someone, but I will always remember what they did. I don't believe in "Forgive and Forget" because I think that is absurd. Most often, I rarely ever forgive major offenses towards me and I just nuke the bridge and call it good. It depends on how important my relationship is with them. Most often I have had to quit associating with old friends who just kept on and on and on. My sister is much of the same mind. In fact we've both held a grudge against my younger brother for years over shit he's not even sorry for. We've both pretty much washed our hands of him and I don't think that's going to change because forgiving him hasn't ever worked. He's still treating us like crap and making immoral decisions. Every time he or his wife says they went to church and tries to sell them off as good people, I can't help but stifle a laugh and I'm not even Christian. In case he missed the memo; no, you don't get to go around screwing people over and then hide behind your religion at the end of the week.
You could say that it’s fake. I totally understand and respect your stance on that. I still don’t label humans as good or bad as they evolve. I don’t hold ill will and I hope they won’t exhibit toxic behaviours to another person.As I said, and I stand by it, not everyone deserves forgiveness. It is not my responsibility to forgive them if I choose not to especially if they have done something that cannot be forgiven. I cut them off and think nothing more of them. Life is too short to entertain foolishness. I'm too old for that. Being honest, I'm not going to pretend to have feelings of compassion and wishing them well because that's fake. Like I said, I rather not even think about the person.
I’m sorry to hear about your brother though, that’s really sad to hearHopefully he’ll realise his mistake and start respecting you. If he does, do you think you would forgive him (while not trusting him at least completely of course)?