Funniest line ever in a movie or a tv show?

[MrDawn]

In your opinion, what is the funniest line you've ever heard in a movie or a television show?

 

[Elvira]

Way too many lines have cracked me up.

 

[DrLeftover]

It's in here:

 

[Dollhouse]

There are many. But here's one of my favorites:

Joey: "I'll let you two... fash...ists talk!"

I'm not sure if that was supposed to be a joke for the word "fascist" but I thought of it that way so I thought it was hilarious

 

[Elvira]

Ok, here's one from "Charmed" -

Piper: I am being stalked by psycho killers, and I hide in the shower.

 

[emily]

I'll set the sceen.

this family has just had their house broken in to, and the only person who saw it all was a very confused neighbor

police officer: so jim, what can you tell me about the man who broke in to the house?

jim: well, he was manly

police officer: anything else?

jim: yep, he may have had a winky

cracks me up every time, specially when the police officer goes back and relays the information

 

[Nebulous]

"I don't make the rules, ma'am. I just think them up and write them down."

 

[Elvira]

Ashton Kutcher on Netflix's The Ranch -

"There was a spider, I unloaded the nail gun on it."

 

[Crys]

 

[Nebulous]

Loved that show! Used to watch it with my mom all the time.

 

[MrDawn]

"I may not know my flowers but I know a bitch when I see one"

 

[DrLeftover]

Mccoy's line:

 

[Mendalla]

The one that has stuck with me for a long time is from Cheers: "It's a dog eat dog world and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear." The speaker is, of course, Norm and it's one of the quips he drops after Woody asks how he is doing.

 

[Mendalla]

Oops, he's actually responding to Sam in this case, not Woody.

 

[ᱬ𝘚𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩ᱬ]

 

[Dollhouse]

 

[Elvira]

From the Mortal Instruments movie.

Simon Lewis: "The werewolves are here to save us. Never thought I'd say that .. "

 

[Webster]

In your opinion, what is the funniest line you've ever heard in a movie or a television show?

Enough said.

 

[Gizmo]

Shawshank Redemption - Captain Hadley. This was funny because at the time I knew Clancy voices Mr. Krabs so it sounds funny hearing him swear

Warden Samuel Norton : [to new inmates, after explaining the prison routine] Any questions?

Prisoner : When do we eat?

Captain Hadley : [Approaches prisoner] You eat when we say you eat. You piss when we say you piss, and you shit when we say you shit. You got that, you maggot dick motherfucker?

 

[Webster]

Shawshank Redemption - Captain Hadley

--Captain Hadley: What the Christ is this happy horseshit?
--Prisoner: Hey, he took the Lord's name in vain! I'm tellin' the warden!
--Captain Hadley: You'll be tellin' the warden about my baton up your ass!

--Captain Hadley: If I hear so much as a mouse fart in here the rest of the night, I swear by God and sonny Jesus you will all visit the infirmary! Every last motherfucker in here!

--Red: [narrating] And that's how it came to pass that on the second-to-last day of the job, the convict crew that tarred the plate factory roof in the spring of forty-nine wound up sitting in a row at ten o'clock in the morning drinking icy cold, Bohemia-style beer, courtesy of the hardest screw that ever walked a turn at Shawshank State Prison.
--Captain Hadley: Drink up while it's cold, ladies.
--Red: [narrating] The colossal prick even managed to sound magnanimous.