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Hillarious Family Feud/Fortunes Answers

MrMetroid

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Something you do in a Lift: Wee

A type of bean: Lesbian

Something you own that might turn out to be phony: A horse

Slang name for the police: Dick

Something you wouldn't try even once: Sex on a Train

Something that falls from trees: Bird Shit

Something you stroke: A match

Something that comes in a larger size for large families: Jeans

Name an animal with 3 letters in it's name: Alligator

Something you take with you to the beach: Turkey

First thing you buy in a supermarket: Turkey

A food often stuffed: Turkey



That's all I can think of for now
 
I didn't find it funny.



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Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter:

A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.



Avoidable uh-voy'-duh-buhl:

What a bullfighter tries to do.



Baloney buh-lo'-nee:

Where some hemlines fall.



Bernadette burn'-a-det:

The act of torching a mortgage.



Burglarize bur'-gler-ize:

What a crook sees with.



Control kon-trol':

A short, ugly inmate.



Counterfeiters kown-ter-fit-ers :

Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.



Eclipse i-klips':

What an English barber does for a living.



Eyedropper i'-drop-ur:

A clumsy ophthalmologist.



>Heroes hee'-rhos:

What a guy in a boat does.



Left Bank left' bangk':

What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.



Misty mis'-tee:

How golfers create divots.



Paradox par'-u-doks:

Two physicians.



Parasites par'-uh-sites:

What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.



Pharmacist farm'-uh-sist:

A helper on the farm.



Polarize po'-lur-ize:

What penguins see with.



Primate pri'-mat:

Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.



Relief ree-leef':

What trees do in the spring.



Rubberneck rub'-er-nek:

What you do to relax your wife.



Seamstress seem'-stres:

Describes 250 pounds in a size six.



Selfish sel'-fish:

What the owner of a seafood store does.



Subdued sub-dood':

Like, a guy, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man.
 
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question in an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
 
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