Lifetime that was and wasn't

[Flurry]

First, I just want to say I'm not asking for sympathy or anything like that. Just that I am wanting to get this off my chest. And frankly, I don't think I deserve sympathy anyway. For what seems like a lifetime since I first met her and later started a relationship with her around July. Even though it was a Long Distance Relationship. That didn't matter. As it was as real as any other sort of relationship. But.. unfortunately, cause of my own foolish act of acting instead of thinking. That lifetime has come to end. I just wish that if I could, I'd go back and prevent myself from doing it. What we wanted together seems unlikely now.



I hope the next man she winds up with, will truly do right by her. Vios Con Dios, and all I know is.. if I ever got another chance. I would strive to do my absolute best to not mess up again.

 

[Rapunzel]

Vaya Con Dios? Sci? I didn't realise that was you mate.

Can you tell us a little more? Can we help?



Could you explain it to her the way you explained it to us?

 

[Flurry]

Lol, I guess I wouldn't be recognizable with a name like 'Beaker Tum-Tums' I didn't realize I had said those words wrong o.0. And thanks for the offer to help. But I don't really think this is something that can be helped. And I have tried to explain it to her. But the impression I get, is that at the moment. She's not wanting to listen to anything I say. And basically, like I said. I acted when I should have thought about it first instead of just saying something dumb.

 

[Durandal]

Ah, wow...



...I kind of understand the circumstance, perhaps, because I experienced something like that unfortunately from the opposite side of things, more or less.



Almost a year ago, I got involved in an LDR (Trans-Atlantic), and all seemed well, and the compatibility factor was perfect. Like literally perfect - woman of my dreams perfect...the only problem was her tendency to not really put thought and reason behind some pretty big issues that just snowballed downhill and grew into a bigger and bigger concern, and no matter what accommodation I gave, no matter how much patience I had, things were being addressed positively. There was a lot of meaningless talk/rhetoric at the end (funny enough, it came to a criticality point at the end of July...just when things were starting for you, they were crashing down on me...), and not much of walking the walk, so to speak...



Unfortunate to hear the circumstances - if anything can be said, relationships are tough, even in the most ideal of circumstances. I'm a newbie here, and probably a good portion of people here already have concluded I'm a moron, but if you want to discuss LDRs gone wrong out of the spotlights, I'm more than willing...

 

[Rapunzel]

Awww...Sci.

Sorry I didn't realise it was you. All these name changes are confusing, I keep thinking there are a lot of new people joining the forum.

Can you drop her a note? Tell her you're sorry you screwed up? Take her some flowers?



If it was a good relationship it would be a shame to throw it away without trying to put things right.



Otherwise we are here to talk to and Durandal has made a good offer too.



I hope things work out for you.

 

[Flurry]

Awww...Sci.

Sorry I didn't realise it was you. All these name changes are confusing, I keep thinking there are a lot of new people joining the forum.

Can you drop her a note? Tell her you're sorry you screwed up? Take her some flowers?



If it was a good relationship it would be a shame to throw it away without trying to put things right.



Otherwise we are here to talk to and Durandal has made a good offer too.



I hope things work out for you.

Lol, yeah I can see why it would be confusing. Unfortunately, any of what you suggested is things I am unable to do. I tried telling her I was sorry, but it didn't work. And yes, it would be a shame to throw away a good relationship. But nothing I can do about it unfortunately. And thank you for the offers of talking.

 

[Jazzy]

Sorry to hear this Sci but I have a question, if I may ask you. Was this the first time that you and your GF had this problem? I'm only asking because it seems that she's acting like it has happened before and that she's just had enough. Either that or whatever happened must have really hurt her. Unfortunately, there are two sides to every story and we are only hearing one side. If it's none of my business, then please don't feel like you have to reply. Again, sorry to hear this and wish you all the best.

 

[Flurry]

Sorry to hear this Sci but I have a question, if I may ask you. Was this the first time that you and your GF had this problem? I'm only asking because it seems that she's acting like it has happened before and that she's just had enough. Either that or whatever happened must have really hurt her. Unfortunately, there are two sides to every story and we are only hearing one side. If it's none of my business, then please don't feel like you have to reply. Again, sorry to hear this and wish you all the best.

Well, it didn't get this ugly before concerning some sleeping habits of mine. I honestly can't see how she thinks I spend more time in bed, when I actually do spend more time online. Just want to say thank you for your support. And the problem was/is, I just didn't think things through. I really don't know how to put her side of things into words to be honest. And I have been trying to go to bed at earlier times, but it just seems like I keep doing it. She seems to feel I'm immature and also insecure. Yeah, I was dumb to assume she was talking about me in a negative manner, but heck. I think any other guy would have thought that in my place. Maybe I'm wrong about that, I don't know. And calling her childish later on for how she later on responded to me. I admit I could have handled my response better then saying she was being childish.

 

[Jazzy]

I must say that being involved in a LDR is very difficult to say the least. Most of the time, the people involved in a LDR relationship live in different time zones. When one person is sleeping, the other is online and vice versa. I don't know if that applies to you or not. I have read a lot about LDR's and have also been involved in two myself. The only form of communication, aside from phone calls, is through emails. It's very easy to misinterpret typed words as you cannot see physical emotions through a computer screen. IMO, the communication link is the computer and perhaps your GF didn't feel like you were spending enough time with her.

Any way, both my LDR's ended in disaster and I hope this doesn't happen to you too. Must say, however, it's not looking very good for your relationship right now to survive this. I hope I'm wrong and please keep us updated as to how you're doing. There are plenty of us here that are willing to talk if you should need to do so.

 

[Flurry]

I must say that being involved in a LDR is very difficult to say the least. Most of the time, the people involved in a LDR relationship live in different time zones. When one person is sleeping, the other is online and vice versa. I don't know if that applies to you or not. I have read a lot about LDR's and have also been involved in two myself. The only form of communication, aside from phone calls, is through emails. It's very easy to misinterpret typed words as you cannot see physical emotions through a computer screen. IMO, the communication link is the computer and perhaps your GF didn't feel like you were spending enough time with her.

Any way, both my LDR's ended in disaster and I hope this doesn't happen to you too. Must say, however, it's not looking very good for your relationship right now to survive this. I hope I'm wrong and please keep us updated as to how you're doing. There are plenty of us here that are willing to talk if you should need to do so.

Thank you. And the thing is, she's an hour ahead of me. And just about whenever I got up. I would jump on as soon as I could so we could talk. And if she felt I wasn't spending enough time with her. I really wish she would have just out right told me. Especially if she started feeling like that during the 3 days I was off. I just hope she will be willing to reconsider things with me. Or at the very least let us stay friends. Hell.. only thing I really want.. is to at least get to hear her voice one last time. She basically ended the relationship herself. So I don't see how it can survive right now either. I honestly love her, and if we can't be together in a relationship, then I would hope she'd be willing to consider being friends.



And as depressing as it sounds. Allow me to hear her voice one last time on Christmas Day. And the problem we had, is that we could only talk on the phone during Saturdays. As usually through the week, she really wasn't able to have a chance to call me. So more often then not.. we had to rely on using the Email system.

 

[Jazzy]

Have you honestly tried to tell her everything you have told us? Have you asked her to be your friend? This whole thing is way too sad. I wish we all came with a magic wand that we could wave and make things right again. If I had a magic wand, Sci, I would be waving it for you right now.

 

[Flurry]

Have you honestly tried to tell her everything you have told us? Have you asked her to be your friend? This whole thing is way too sad. I wish we all came with a magic wand that we could wave and make things right again. If I had a magic wand, Sci, I would be waving it for you right now.

Thank you for that. I appreciate it. And I had thought about emailing her. But I honestly don't even know if she would read or respond to it.

 

[Jazzy]

You have nothing to lose by sending her an email. Who knows, maybe she's calmed down and will respond to you.

 

[Flurry]

Yeah, I decided to try it last night. Got a response. At least she's willing. All I can ask for.

 

[=Edward=]

lol. I don't even know what it is lol

 

[Jazzy]

lol. I don't even know what it is lol

You've never heard of Long Distance Relationships?

 

[Dennis]

Yeah, I decided to try it last night. Got a response. At least she's willing. All I can ask for.

Good for you! Best of luck

 

[Flurry]

Good for you! Best of luck

Yeah, I kind of screwed up cause I mentioned I was surprised by something she did. She didn't take too well to me saying that.

 

[Flurry]

Well, I just wanted to say we've more or less patched things up. But we are sticking with being friends. Which is better then nothing.

 

[Evil Eye]

Maybe, with time...