Manners

[Crys]

Are you a thank you, you're welcome, please, type of person when it comes to engaging with other people? Yes sir? Ma'am?

Do you hold open the door for the person coming behind or say excuse me when you intend to pass someone?

Tell me, I'm curious. Maybe you do something I didn't mention here.

As for me, yeah, I say and do it all because it was how I was raised unless the person is a:

then forget it.

 

[passenger]

That, even with family. ..........and, when when eyes meet strangers I'll smile; and, not always, but usually get a smile back.

 

[Crys]

That, even with family. ..........and, when when eyes meet strangers I'll smile; and, not always, but usually get a smile back.

 

[MrDawn]

Belching, farting, and saying "pass the fucking potatos" at the table is perfectly acceptable. ☺

 

[Black Angel]

I do.. despite me swearing more than a sailor on shore leave, I am actually very polite. However, I have been in situations where my politeness was mistaken as interest when it wasn't.. and a dude tried to follow me home because of it.

I normally have an "only nice once" policy when it comes to guys that won't take a hint.. in the sense that I will only be polite for the first rejection. I wont be as nice the second time, and come the third, I am already in fight mode.. because it is a major red flag when the dude wont move on after you said "No" the first time, and its been my experience that these are people that I shouldn't be around and need to get away from as quickly as possible. So anything after that, will put me in fight or flight mode.

I once shared my oversized umbrella with a dude while waiting at the bus stop one day when I was in Brooklyn. It was raining cats and dogs that day and the man looked like he was struggling with his phone. So I did what I thought was the right thing and shared my umbrella with him, which he thanked me for and that was it.. I didn't say anything to him other than "Your welcome" and I continued listening to my music. When the bus came I got on and so did he.

I didn't think anything of it, after all we were at a bus stop and the only other bus terminated 2 blocks away from where we were.. so I got off the bus once we were at the train station to get the Q into the city.. and so did he.. again, I didn't think much of it because again, it is a common commute and literally millions of people make the same one every day.. so I am on the Q and get off at Union Square to get the uptown 6 to Harlem.. and again, so does he..

Ok.. this is getting weird and now my warning signs are starting to tingle.. now mind you this entire time, I am still not assuming anything about this man, but I am making note of the fact that so far we've been on the same bus and trains so far.. and each time he was sitting far away from me and he still hasn't said anything to me since he thanked me at the bus stop for sharing my umbrella. So for now he still has the benefit of the doubt..

So, now we are on the 6 train headed uptown, and because it terminates in Bronx, I can't really assume that he is following me.. so now I get to play a little game of "am I crazy or am I being followed" so I decided to miss my stop on purpose to see what happens especially since now I have noticed that he has not stopped staring at me since we got on the 6 and is now sitting closer instead of distant like he was before..

So we leave 14th St.-Union Sq.

Pass 42nd-Grand Central.. still there, still staring..

Pass 68th St.-Hunter College.. still there, still staring..

Pass 86th St.-Lexington Ave.. still there, still staring..

Mind you, I'm getting angrier, but still not assuming anything, but these are really popular stops.. so if an uptown 6 is crowded asses-to-elbows at Union Sq. which is where I got on, and it was crowded, by the time it hits the next 3 stops above, it will be about 95% empty..

So, ok.. something is up, but still, I wait.. because I don't want to assume anything..

So I end up passing my stop.. just to see what happens..

When the train had just left 116th St. I notice that he hasn't broken his gaze since we left 110th St. so now this dude no longer cares that I know he is staring at me and this tells me that I need to get off the train A.S.A.P. so I start making the motions as if I am about to get off, and start fixing my bag straps and getting my keys and then I stand up and walk toward the door.

I see him get up and walk toward the door closest to him and not only is he still staring but now he is smiling at me.. so I look back toward the door as it opens and we are now at 125th St. which is the last Manhattan stop on the 6. Once the door opens, I calmly walk off the train, and by now my nerves are on edge and my heart is in my throat and it is pounding so hard that I can barely hear the music I am listening to.. and so I take a deep breath and then start walking along the platform as if I am walking to where the elevators are near the back of the station.

This time, I know for a fact that this dude is following me, because I was able to see him staring at me in the reflection of my phone which was off, and when I put on the selfie cam he was staring right at me.. so I head downstairs and a few seconds later, another 6 train pulls in, this time headed downtown. Once again, I slowly walk along the platform, as if I am looking for the elevators and just long enough so that the operator announces the next stop.. and starts closing the door.

At the very last second, I zip in, and the door closes behind me and pulls off and just as I pass him still on the platform, he looks extremely pissed and punches the train as soon as he sees me as it passes him. As I sit down, I noticed that the passengers on it were looking at me and looked confused until I said that that man had followed me all the way from Brooklyn and I really needed to get away from him. To this day, I am grateful that the train wasn't delayed that night because of someone holding the door.. and that was the last time I ever took the train.

In this instance I realized that it was a good thing that I didn't resort to confronting this man, because if I had, I probably wouldn't have been here.. I told my husband (then-boyfriend) and he was angry, but glad that I got home safe. And now because of this and the other stalking incident when I was younger that still gives me nightmares, I try not to go anywhere without my husband. I know it doesn't sound very progressive or feminist but there is a lot of crazy dudes out there.. and I have noticed that when I am with my husband, that I don't see them as much.

 

[Crys]

I do.. despite me swearing more than a sailor on shore leave, I am actually very polite. However, I have been in situations where my politeness was mistaken as interest when it wasn't.. and a dude tried to follow me home because of it.

I normally have an "only nice once" policy when it comes to guys that won't take a hint.. in the sense that I will only be polite for the first rejection. I wont be as nice the second time, and come the third, I am already in fight mode.. because it is a major red flag when the dude wont move on after you said "No" the first time, and its been my experience that these are people that I shouldn't be around and need to get away from as quickly as possible. So anything after that, will put me in fight or flight mode.

I once shared my oversized umbrella with a dude while waiting at the bus stop one day when I was in Brooklyn. It was raining cats and dogs that day and the man looked like he was struggling with his phone. So I did what I thought was the right thing and shared my umbrella with him, which he thanked me for and that was it.. I didn't say anything to him other than "Your welcome" and I continued listening to my music. When the bus came I got on and so did he.

I didn't think anything of it, after all we were at a bus stop and the only other bus terminated 2 blocks away from where we were.. so I got off the bus once we were at the train station to get the Q into the city.. and so did he.. again, I didn't think much of it because again, it is a common commute and literally millions of people make the same one every day.. so I am on the Q and get off at Union Square to get the uptown 6 to Harlem.. and again, so does he..

Ok.. this is getting weird and now my warning signs are starting to tingle.. now mind you this entire time, I am still not assuming anything about this man, but I am making note of the fact that so far we've been on the same bus and trains so far.. and each time he was sitting far away from me and he still hasn't said anything to me since he thanked me at the bus stop for sharing my umbrella. So for now he still has the benefit of the doubt..

So, now we are on the 6 train headed uptown, and because it terminates in Bronx, I can't really assume that he is following me.. so now I get to play a little game of "am I crazy or am I being followed" so I decided to miss my stop on purpose to see what happens especially since now I have noticed that he has not stopped staring at me since we got on the 6 and is now sitting closer instead of distant like he was before..

So we leave 14th St.-Union Sq.

Pass 42nd-Grand Central.. still there, still staring..

Pass 68th St.-Hunter College.. still there, still staring..

Pass 86th St.-Lexington Ave.. still there, still staring..

Mind you, I'm getting angrier, but still not assuming anything, but these are really popular stops.. so if an uptown 6 is crowded asses-to-elbows at Union Sq. which is where I got on, and it was crowded, by the time it hits the next 3 stops above, it will be about 95% empty..

So, ok.. something is up, but still, I wait.. because I don't want to assume anything..

So I end up passing my stop.. just to see what happens..

When the train had just left 116th St. I notice that he hasn't broken his gaze since we left 110th St. so now this dude no longer cares that I know he is staring at me and this tells me that I need to get off the train A.S.A.P. so I start making the motions as if I am about to get off, and start fixing my bag straps and getting my keys and then I stand up and walk toward the door.

I see him get up and walk toward the door closest to him and not only is he still staring but now he is smiling at me.. so I look back toward the door as it opens and we are now at 125th St. which is the last Manhattan stop on the 6. Once the door opens, I calmly walk off the train, and by now my nerves are on edge and my heart is in my throat and it is pounding so hard that I can barely hear the music I am listening to.. and so I take a deep breath and then start walking along the platform as if I am walking to where the elevators are near the back of the station.

This time, I know for a fact that this dude is following me, because I was able to see him staring at me in the reflection of my phone which was off, and when I put on the selfie cam he was staring right at me.. so I head downstairs and a few seconds later, another 6 train pulls in, this time headed downtown. Once again, I slowly walk along the platform, as if I am looking for the elevators and just long enough so that the operator announces the next stop.. and starts closing the door.

At the very last second, I zip in, and the door closes behind me and pulls off and just as I pass him still on the platform, he looks extremely pissed and punches the train as soon as he sees me as it passes him. As I sit down, I noticed that the passengers on it were looking at me and looked confused until I said that that man had followed me all the way from Brooklyn and I really needed to get away from him. To this day, I am grateful that the train wasn't delayed that night because of someone holding the door.. and that was the last time I ever took the train.

In this instance I realized that it was a good thing that I didn't resort to confronting this man, because if I had, I probably wouldn't have been here.. I told my husband (then-boyfriend) and he was angry, but glad that I got home safe. And now because of this and the other stalking incident when I was younger that still gives me nightmares, I try not to go anywhere without my husband. I know it doesn't sound very progressive or feminist but there is a lot of crazy dudes out there.. and I have noticed that when I am with my husband, that I don't see them as much.

I had a lot to say but all of it is summed up into a the heck? That could have ended very bad and I'm glad you got away from that individual. That just sounds creepy and cringe on the part of him. Damn.

 

[Nebulous]

It's odd how much manners I have considering I grew up in a house where yelling, cussing, farting, burping and all the stuff civilized people frown upon were commonplace.

 

[passenger]

It's odd how much manners I have considering I grew up in a house where yelling, cussing, farting, burping and all the stuff civilized people frown upon were commonplace.

Grandparents influence?

 

[Black Angel]

It's odd how much manners I have considering I grew up in a house where yelling, cussing, farting, burping and all the stuff civilized people frown upon were commonplace.

I have learned that the so-called civilized people out there, weren't so civilized themselves.. so its all the more reason not to take anything they say seriously..

I had a lot to say but all of it is summed up into a the heck? That could have ended very bad and I'm glad you got away from that individual. That just sounds creepy and cringe on the part of him. Damn.

Yes it could have, but I am glad it didn't.. in hindsight, I wish I'd have taken a selfie of the dude.. I hate the idea that he is still out there somewhere waiting to stalk someone else..

The only thing more upsetting is that some idiot will think that stuff like this is proof that women have it easier and they would probably think that I should've just given this "nice guy" a chance..

 

[Draconis]

Yes of course. Always.

 

[Dee]

Are you a thank you, you're welcome, please, type of person when it comes to engaging with other people? Yes sir? Ma'am?

Do you hold open the door for the person coming behind or say excuse me when you intend to pass someone?

Working retail and healthcare the last 15 years has shown me the downhill spiral we're on in terms of lack of basic manners. When I managed a store and would help customers, I'd get called over to answer questions and then randomly the person would just walk away without a "thank you" or even an "okay". It would just be talking and then...nothing. They'd turn and leave. Same thing in the clinic now but even more so. I'm not asking for much, just a "please, thank you, goodbye," but apparently those words are lost on the country.

I still say please, thank you, and bye. I hold the door open for people who are close enough. I am conscious of the space I'm in and the people around me. I compliment people when I see something really nice they're wearing or have done to themselves (not often, but sometimes I just have to). I don't say ma'am or sir unless it's at work and in that case I tend to call patients by their first name. It's just kind of sad how the last however many years people can even manage the basics.

 

[Draconis]

I still say please, thank you, and bye. I hold the door open for people who are close enough. I am conscious of the space I'm in and the people around me. I compliment people when I see something really nice they're wearing or have done to themselves (not often, but sometimes I just have to). I don't say ma'am or sir unless it's at work and in that case I tend to call patients by their first name. It's just kind of sad how the last however many years people can even manage the basics.

Agreed. People in today's world lack even common courtesy. I worked retail for years (customer service and cashier) and for some reason, people just totally s**t on me all day....

 

[Dee]

Agreed. People in today's world lack even common courtesy. I worked retail for years (customer service and cashier) and for some reason, people just totally s**t on me all day....

Same. It got so bad to the point where when a customer was polite (even the bare minimum, or rather, was a joy to help) it felt almost wrong. Really fucked up when you expect people to just be a complete and utter cunt day in and day out.

 

[Draconis]

Thankfully, I'm retired now. So fuck it. hehe

 

[Crys]

Working retail and healthcare the last 15 years has shown me the downhill spiral we're on in terms of lack of basic manners. When I managed a store and would help customers, I'd get called over to answer questions and then randomly the person would just walk away without a "thank you" or even an "okay". It would just be talking and then...nothing. They'd turn and leave. Same thing in the clinic now but even more so. I'm not asking for much, just a "please, thank you, goodbye," but apparently those words are lost on the country.

I still say please, thank you, and bye. I hold the door open for people who are close enough. I am conscious of the space I'm in and the people around me. I compliment people when I see something really nice they're wearing or have done to themselves (not often, but sometimes I just have to). I don't say ma'am or sir unless it's at work and in that case I tend to call patients by their first name. It's just kind of sad how the last however many years people can even manage the basics.

I couldn't agree with you more. It's not hard to be nice to someone well...yeah I guess it is with some people. It's very sad.

 

[passenger]

Hi @Dee , Haven't seen you hanging around here for the last few days;
so, I'm ASSUMING you've 'been there, done that' and are on the road to recovery. 🎈💗

 

[Ravenfreak]

Are you a thank you, you're welcome, please, type of person when it comes to engaging with other people? Yes sir? Ma'am?

Do you hold open the door for the person coming behind or say excuse me when you intend to pass someone?

Tell me, I'm curious. Maybe you do something I didn't mention here.

As for me, yeah, I say and do it all because it was how I was raised unless the person is a:

then forget it.

LMAO at first I though "If the person is a Nightwing" then I remembered his real name is Dick Grayson. xD Anyways I was taught to treat others the way I wanted to be treated, meaning to show respect to others. However, if you're going to be disrespectful to me then I will most likely be disrespectful back if I reach my breaking point.

 

[Crys]

LMAO at first I though "If the person is a Nightwing" then I remembered his real name is Dick Grayson. xD Anyways I was taught to treat others the way I wanted to be treated, meaning to show respect to others. However, if you're going to be disrespectful to me then I will most likely be disrespectful back if I reach my breaking point.

I was going to just put the word but......a picture says a thousand words I guess. In this case just one lol.
And I agree with you!

 

[safeinsanity]

Yes, it is how I was raised also. Something most parents apparently don't teach their children these days. 😞

 

[MrDawn]

Same. It got so bad to the point where when a customer was polite (even the bare minimum, or rather, was a joy to help) it felt almost wrong. Really fucked up when you expect people to just be a complete and utter cunt day in and day out.

It is strange. When some people are being "nice" where I work, I mistake it as them being a smart ass. When people are rude to you day in and day out, you just learn to start expecting the worst out of people