Tips and advice on disciplining your own kids

[Kale]

As a parent, one of the most challenging tasks is disciplining your children. Every child is different, and what works for one may not work for another. However, I believe that sharing experiences and tips could help the parents here become better parents and raise well-behaved kids.

What approaches have worked for you when it comes to disciplining your children? Please share your experiences and advice here for other parents.

No, I am not a parent but felt this would be a good topic here.

 

[Duskpire]

Yeah, don't wait until they're almost 6 feet tall to get onto them when they get out of line. Discipline is hard to dish out but it has to be done.

 

[passenger]

Be patient; hold your frustration in -- put a clamp on your hollering and yelling and especially berating.
Don't tell a kid 5 or 6 times to do something, tell them preferably once, maybe twice. When you tell a kid 5 times to "take out the garbage" then you're conditioning a kid to do something only after being told multiple (5) times.

Children Learn What They Live​

by Dorothy Law Nolte​

If children live with criticism,
They learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility,
They learn to fight.

If children live with ridicule,
They learn to be shy.

If children live with shame,
They learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement,
They learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance,
They learn to be patient.

If children live with praise,
They learn to appreciate.

If children live with acceptance,
They learn to love.

If children live with approval,
They learn to like themselves.

If children live with honesty
They learn truthfulness.

If children live with security,
They learn to have faith in themselves and others.

If children live with friendliness,
They learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

Solid advice here. I never really had to discipline my kid. That was usually her moms job. I was just the fun parent all the time.

 

[Kale]

Be patient; hold your frustration in -- put a clamp on your hollering and yelling and especially berating.

If only my parents did this.

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

If only my parents did this.

Do they berate you?

 

[Dee]

Set ground rules, expectations, and consequences.

Stick to them.

Be consistent in both praise and punishment every. single. time.

Listen to your children. Truly listen to them. Give them your ear. They deserve to be heard and not just lorded over.

Teach them ways to express and therefore regulate their emotions. None of this, "Be a man," bullshit.

 

[Hulk's iconHulk]

I'm glad we have very strict anti-smacking laws in New Zealand as there are other ways to discipline your kids. Sadly though over here kids as young as 8 have been ram-raiding stores and shop lifting over the past couple of years and if they get arrested and taken to court they only get a smack on the hand because of their age only to go out and do it again.

These kids are even driving the getaway cars. No idea how they know how to drive but yeah.

 

[Hulk's iconHulk]

Teach them ways to express and therefore regulate their emotions. None of this, "Be a man," bullshit.

The be a man crap often leads young people to depression and suicide. Why should they 'be a man' when they have a story to tell and someone needs to listen?

Thanks to certain mental health advocates men can now feel like they can speak about their problems in New Zealand. It used to be the "Be a man" approach which caused a lot of people to sadly commit suicide

 

[Dee]

The be a man crap often leads young people to depression and suicide. Why should they 'be a man' when they have a story to tell and someone needs to listen?

Thanks to certain mental health advocates men can now feel like they can speak about their problems in New Zealand. It used to be the "Be a man" approach which caused a lot of people to sadly commit suicide

I'm glad NZ seems to be making progress in that avenue. Here in the states, that still seems to be the status quo.

 

[Hulk's iconHulk]

I'm glad NZ seems to be making progress in that avenue. Here in the states, that still seems to be the status quo.

I guess it's harder over there by having different senators and stuff. Different 'high up' people having different views. Here we don't have a president or senator way of doing things. Just a Prime Minister and then a government.

 

[Duskpire]

I've taught my kids to be respectable and to do as they're told. I've learned that you can't be their friend and their parent at the same time.

 

[Kale]

I've taught my kids to be respectable and to do as they're told. I've learned that you can't be their friend and their parent at the same time.

Yep, for sure agreed.

Be consistent in both praise and punishment every. single. time.

Do not know HOW MANY times I've seen some of my cousins who have kids not follow through on punishments. Also recently they were to be on an electronic detox, and when one got a new game for their Switch that detox went away. It was one of the kids birthday party gifts.

I see way too many parents not follow through or actually punish their kids anymore. So many parents wanna be their kids friend. Everyone bitches about "no one wants to work anymore", but I see parents being wayyy worse nowadays.

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

Set ground rules, expectations, and consequences.

Stick to them.

Be consistent in both praise and punishment every. single. time.

Listen to your children. Truly listen to them. Give them your ear. They deserve to be heard and not just lorded over.

Teach them ways to express and therefore regulate their emotions. None of this, "Be a man," bullshit.

Great advice there!

I'm glad we have very strict anti-smacking laws in New Zealand as there are other ways to discipline your kids.

What happens if a parent smacks their kid?

 

[Hulk's iconHulk]

What happens if a parent smacks their kid?

I dunno. It's against the law but don't know what happens if it happens

 

[KO896]

My daughter was always such a good girl!! I learned early on that just telling her to do something wasn't always effective as it was to help her get started on doing something (when she was really little). Then hand the task over once she knew what to do and what was expected of her.

I like having a Law Gospel type of child raising model and it's like this:

If my daughter was obstinate about something when she shouldn't have been, I'd give her my Law, telling her what she should and should not be doing.

If my daughter was upset by something, she would get my Gospel and that was my love and affection. I wouldn't hammer her down with my law because that's not what she needed.

 

[Nebulous's iconNebulous]

My daughter was always such a good girl!! I learned early on that just telling her to do something wasn't always effective as it was to help her get started on doing something (when she was really little). Then hand the task over once she knew what to do and what was expected of her.

I like having a Law Gospel type of child raising model and it's like this:

If my daughter was obstinate about something when she shouldn't have been, I'd give her my Law, telling her what she should and should not be doing.

If my daughter was upset by something, she would get my Gospel and that was my love and affection. I wouldn't hammer her down with my law because that's not what she needed.

Sounds like a good tactic.

 

[Dee]

Yep, for sure agreed.


Do not know HOW MANY times I've seen some of my cousins who have kids not follow through on punishments. Also recently they were to be on an electronic detox, and when one got a new game for their Switch that detox went away. It was one of the kids birthday party gifts.

I see way too many parents not follow through or actually punish their kids anymore. So many parents wanna be their kids friend. Everyone bitches about "no one wants to work anymore", but I see parents being wayyy worse nowadays.

Yup. I understand that not every child is the same and there are situations where even consistent punishment does not work, but for the most part this is a very good way to manage children. Of course, there are other aspects that go into punishment and not just saying, "Don't do that!" without explaining why and giving the child a chance to talk it through. The less you leave them in the dark (appropriate for their age level), the more they'll understand the why behind the punishment.