-You find humor in other people's stupidity
-You believe than 90% of people are a poor excuse for protoplasm
-Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you
-Your idea of fine dining is anywhere you sit down to eat
-You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicer restaurants.
-You plan your dinner break while lavaging an overdose patient
-Your diet consists of food that has gone through more processing than most computers
-You believe chocolate is a food group
-You refer to vegetables and are not talking about a food group
-You believe a good tape job will fix anything
-You have the bladder capacity of five people
-You can identify the positive teeth to tattoo ratio
-Your idea of a good time is a full arrest at shift change
-You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac
-You firmly believe that if Dilantin, Haldol, Noranyl, and Narcan were put in the water instead of fluoride, dentists might be busier, but EMS would grind to a halt
-You have your weekends off planned in advance
-You automatically assume the patient is a drug seeker when presented with a complaint of: migraine; lower back pain; chronic myalgia; and a list of numerous allergies to meds (except Demerol); the statement that the family doctor is from out of town.
-Your idea of comforting a child includes placing them in a papoose restraint
-You encourage an obnoxious patient to sign out AMA so you don't have to deal with them any longer
-You believe than 90% of people are a poor excuse for protoplasm
-Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you
-Your idea of fine dining is anywhere you sit down to eat
-You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicer restaurants.
-You plan your dinner break while lavaging an overdose patient
-Your diet consists of food that has gone through more processing than most computers
-You believe chocolate is a food group
-You refer to vegetables and are not talking about a food group
-You believe a good tape job will fix anything
-You have the bladder capacity of five people
-You can identify the positive teeth to tattoo ratio
-Your idea of a good time is a full arrest at shift change
-You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac
-You firmly believe that if Dilantin, Haldol, Noranyl, and Narcan were put in the water instead of fluoride, dentists might be busier, but EMS would grind to a halt
-You have your weekends off planned in advance
-You automatically assume the patient is a drug seeker when presented with a complaint of: migraine; lower back pain; chronic myalgia; and a list of numerous allergies to meds (except Demerol); the statement that the family doctor is from out of town.
-Your idea of comforting a child includes placing them in a papoose restraint
-You encourage an obnoxious patient to sign out AMA so you don't have to deal with them any longer
