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Married, change ur name?
- Thread starter Nebulous
- Start date
I'd ask what her name is but I don't want to doxx anyone. Are you guys going to get married soon?My g/f wants my last name. A lot of unfortunate stigma with hers....
Even nowadays?
I'm never getting married but for the purpose of this question, I would not take his name because I don't see why I should submerge my identity just to become Mrs Him and because I don't care for tradition.
You go girl!
I can't speak for other women lol There are so many traditions out there that we keep doing, both men & women. Now, I tend to buck tradition. If I do something, it's because I wanted to, not because society dictated it.
Nice! Thats a great way to live. Screw society!
It's kind of a funny story.. but when I got married back in 2010, I kept my name the same for numerous reasons, mainly financial and to keep my rent at the same rate, since I didn't add my husband to my household.. my name stayed the same until about 2017, when my Mom filled out the passport form for everyone as we were going on a cruise, and it would be processed faster and they ended up putting my full name on my passport, followed by my husband's last name.
So at the airport and cruise terminal I presented both my NYS ID and my passport so that they could see that I was the same person.. and that continued to be the case UNTIL I had to renew my NYS ID with my new address and I had to upgrade to the enhanced ID because I would be going on another cruise in December. When I gave the clerk at the DMV my passport, she basically put my new ID in the same name as my passport..
So technically, I didn't change my name, my Mom did.. and as of December last year, I officially had my husband's name. I would've changed it myself after I moved but I hesitated for the reason mentioned above and, because I remember the EXTREMELY annoying task of trying to get both halves of my BC from my parents before I got married, (each swore that the other had the other half of my BC, when in truth, they both ended up giving me the SAME half lol) and I wasn't even going to bother asking them about my passport, which I hadn't used since we came from Germany when I was a kid. I signed the closing documents in my maiden name, and so, I am not sure what the amendment process for that will be like should I need to update it in the future.
So at the airport and cruise terminal I presented both my NYS ID and my passport so that they could see that I was the same person.. and that continued to be the case UNTIL I had to renew my NYS ID with my new address and I had to upgrade to the enhanced ID because I would be going on another cruise in December. When I gave the clerk at the DMV my passport, she basically put my new ID in the same name as my passport..
So technically, I didn't change my name, my Mom did.. and as of December last year, I officially had my husband's name. I would've changed it myself after I moved but I hesitated for the reason mentioned above and, because I remember the EXTREMELY annoying task of trying to get both halves of my BC from my parents before I got married, (each swore that the other had the other half of my BC, when in truth, they both ended up giving me the SAME half lol) and I wasn't even going to bother asking them about my passport, which I hadn't used since we came from Germany when I was a kid. I signed the closing documents in my maiden name, and so, I am not sure what the amendment process for that will be like should I need to update it in the future.
Same with my last name. I have my biological father's last name and he and that entire side of the family not only disowned me but dis-inherited me as well just because a custody battle and me wanting to live with my mother when I was 15 and not getting along with his wife. I think it also had something to do with me telling my mother's lawyer about his drinking problem so he'd lose the whole case. Judges tend to be harsh towards parents who have addiction problems.My g/f wants my last name. A lot of unfortunate stigma with hers....
I think you can change your legal name to whatever you like (within reason
) so long as it's not for criminal reasons.For a fee, of course.
I think you can change your legal name to whatever you like (within reason
For a fee, of course.
*changes name for criminal reasons*
It dont matter as your SSN# would be attached to your new name hehehe. lol Nice try though lol
On a seperate note to answer the general question here : I think it depends on personal preference and goals. I personally like tradition as its what I'm used to, so with that said
"In my situation" - I took my husbands last name just because we knew we would be together "til death do us part" Which in that case he did pass away and I am keeping his last name due to changing shit back is expensive and pain in the butt. Which funny thing is the name i was given was a common name so is the one i switched to
(Johnson > Smith).
Some people want to keep their last name but also keep their "Marital Name" so a lot hyphenate for example Johnson-Smith. to me i think it complicates things legally.
Me too.
But...hindsight.
I have been married three times; thus, four different last names. Before the Covid thing, I decided to go ahead and get the state enhanced drivers license....in the event of simplifying travel to Canada and/or Mexico.
You would not believe the HOOPS! They wanted documents of all of the marriage licenses and divorce decrees. And would not accept the copy I had of the current marriage license issued and legally stamped by the judge because that county had changed their form to a more computer-friendly version.
At that point I somehow managed to hold in my internal explosion, but just said something like, "Dang! It would be easier to get a bloomin' passport!" The clerk to my surprise agreed.
So, that's what I did & it was entirely easy.....basically get your picture taken & pay your $$.
And the point being....if I had known how screwed up the legal system can be, I would have just simply kept my maiden name. It was the name changes that "got" me there.
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