I've never been to that breaking point, but my wife almost committed suicide five years ago... I don't think anyone who commits suicide is a coward, they were hurting and thought the world would have been better off without them... Mental health is real, if your brain isn't doing well then you're not healthy, because your brain literally controls everything you do. If you are hurting and at the point where you have a plan... please reach out to someone. If my wife wasn't going to therapy, I just don't know what would have happened... and I don't want to know really. I know it's hard to think of others when your own judgement is clouded...