Cross-site punishments

[Crys]

Yeah, I see what you mean. I'm personally against cancel culture, but each to their own of course. What would you do in a situation where a member decides to join your forum with a different username and then confided in you much later on about past behaviour having proven themselves at YOUR site ?

You're asking a question about if you would ban a member for behavior across other forums. I personally don't think it's as extreme as cancel culture though. I do have to ask what are you exactly looking for? I can only answer your questions honestly and tell you that's how I feel and it probably will not change. If a member that I had previously saw on other sites with nasty behavior joined my site under a different name, proved themselves, and confided in me more than likely I would not have them around. Again, being honest. I don't know what else I can say.
I get the whole forgive and forget thing. But some stuff I can honestly say I don't forget and just like situations in real life okay cool, things happen with people. They do things they may or may not regret. Understandable. I just keep away from it.

 

[~ True Legend ~]

You're asking a question about if you would ban a member for behavior across other forums. I personally don't think it's as extreme as cancel culture though. I do have to ask what are you exactly looking for? I can only answer your questions honestly and tell you that's how I feel and it probably will not change. If a member that I had previously saw on other sites with nasty behavior joined my site under a different name, proved themselves, and confided in me more than likely I would not have them around. Again, being honest. I don't know what else I can say.
I get the whole forgive and forget thing. But some stuff I can honestly say I don't forget and just like situations in real life okay cool, things happen with people. They do things they may or may not regret. Understandable. I just keep away from it.

Just having an intellectual debate.
I get what you mean about your forgive but don't forget view. Each to their own.

 

[Crys]

Just having an intellectual debate.
I get what you mean about your forgive but don't forget view. Each to their own.

lol but what are we debating though?

 

[Black Angel]

Cancel culture is not a thing. What is perceived as cancel culture, is really just a mass rejection of absurdity (and worse things) and people showing their distaste for that behavior enmasse.

Ironically enough the people I have seen both online and off, that complained about cancel culture, were the biggest practitioner of it themselves. It is like that old saying, be careful who you point your finger at, because you've got 3 more pointing back at you. It really is just projection, and it has applied in others areas too.

It's like, if a knowingly person goes on to a forum run by a marginalized group, and the first thing they do is post offensive content directed at that group and then when they get the consequences, they complain about being cancelled and having a negative reputation. When in all truth, they really only did it to themselves. They didnt have to join and do what they did, they could have kept it moving. Some people just like the attention and we see that with people having temper tantrum in department stores or over some influenced drinking beer.

You really can't make this up.

At any rate, I have dealt with people who were absolute trollish idiots on my brother's forum, turn out to be very mature on mine.. I am not sure if it was a maturity thing or the result of self-reflection.

But I will say this.. I am not your mother, your s/o or your therapist. So I am not going to sit back and give you so many chances that I find myself watching your profile like a soap opera just hoping that you'll see the light and change your behavior. With me, its 3 strikes and you're out. Strike one is a warning, strike 2 is a week suspension and strike 3 is a ban. Depending on what that person did, and how long they've been there will determine the length of their punishment.

But if they do something that puts my site or its members at risk, then they wont even get to the third strike.. they will be gone immediately. And showing up under a new name w/ a confession is not indicative of changed behavior. We had a dude that registered 5 accounts (as himself, and ended up with about 12 in total) used different emails but had the same IP and everytime one of his accounts got a warning, suddenly one of the other 4 would pop up and be active and talking and asking about why the other account was suspended, sometimes talking amongst his other accounts as well.. and miraculously, when the punishment was lifted, the activity from the other accounts would cease.

Oh and the best part, when we banned all of his accounts, his "family" started popping up as character testimonials about why we should let him back onto the forum.

The dude never changed his behavior, and we ended up finding out why.. he was 9 years old, and had the audacity to threaten to tell his parents on us if we didn't let him back on. He did, and when his "mother" showed up talking about what a good kid he is, and how we just misunderstood him and we should give him another chance, it didn't take us very long to find out that it was yet another account of his and we told him that because he was only 9 years old, that it was illegal for him to be there and that if he showed up again, we would have him arrested for violating COPPA, and that he would have to explain to his REAL mother about why he was on a site for teenagers and posting what he did on it.

That seemed to work as we never saw him (or his mother's, brother's, sister's and cousins accounts) again.

 

[~ True Legend ~]

lol but what are we debating though?

Cross-site punishments. I'm not trying to impose my views on you, I apologise if it came across that way. I was just curious about others' views on it is all. I apologise if I'm making you feel uncomfortable, I will quit asking you questions

 

[Crys]

Cross-site punishments. I'm not trying to impose my views on you, I apologise if it came across that way. I was just curious about others' views on it is all. I apologise if I'm making you feel uncomfortable, I will quit asking you questions

I'm not in any way uncomfortable. It just felt like you were looking for me to say something else so I was just wondering.

 

[~ True Legend ~]

I'm not in any way uncomfortable. It just felt like you were looking for me to say something else so I was just wondering.

Nope It's just my debate style. I dig into deep enquiries, hehe. Understandably everyone has different views on 'forgive and forget', tolerance levels and all that.

Cancel culture is not a thing. What is perceived as cancel culture, is really just a mass rejection of absurdity (and worse things) and people showing their distaste for that behavior enmasse.

Ironically enough the people I have seen both online and off, that complained about cancel culture, were the biggest practitioner of it themselves. It is like that old saying, be careful who you point your finger at, because you've got 3 more pointing back at you. It really is just projection, and it has applied in others areas too.

It's like, if a knowingly person goes on to a forum run by a marginalized group, and the first thing they do is post offensive content directed at that group and then when they get the consequences, they complain about being cancelled and having a negative reputation. When in all truth, they really only did it to themselves. They didnt have to join and do what they did, they could have kept it moving. Some people just like the attention and we see that with people having temper tantrum in department stores or over some influenced drinking beer.

You really can't make this up.

At any rate, I have dealt with people who were absolute trollish idiots on my brother's forum, turn out to be very mature on mine.. I am not sure if it was a maturity thing or the result of self-reflection.

But I will say this.. I am not your mother, your s/o or your therapist. So I am not going to sit back and give you so many chances that I find myself watching your profile like a soap opera just hoping that you'll see the light and change your behavior. With me, its 3 strikes and you're out. Strike one is a warning, strike 2 is a week suspension and strike 3 is a ban. Depending on what that person did, and how long they've been there will determine the length of their punishment.

But if they do something that puts my site or its members at risk, then they wont even get to the third strike.. they will be gone immediately. And showing up under a new name w/ a confession is not indicative of changed behavior. We had a dude that registered 5 accounts (as himself, and ended up with about 12 in total) used different emails but had the same IP and everytime one of his accounts got a warning, suddenly one of the other 4 would pop up and be active and talking and asking about why the other account was suspended, sometimes talking amongst his other accounts as well.. and miraculously, when the punishment was lifted, the activity from the other accounts would cease.

Oh and the best part, when we banned all of his accounts, his "family" started popping up as character testimonials about why we should let him back onto the forum.

The dude never changed his behavior, and we ended up finding out why.. he was 9 years old, and had the audacity to threaten to tell his parents on us if we didn't let him back on. He did, and when his "mother" showed up talking about what a good kid he is, and how we just misunderstood him and we should give him another chance, it didn't take us very long to find out that it was yet another account of his and we told him that because he was only 9 years old, that it was illegal for him to be there and that if he showed up again, we would have him arrested for violating COPPA, and that he would have to explain to his REAL mother about why he was on a site for teenagers and posting what he did on it.

That seemed to work as we never saw him (or his mother's, brother's, sister's and cousins accounts) again.

Sorry for being unclear, just to clarify I'm not referring to multiple accounts. We're discussing cross-site punishments, and my question was about using different usernames on different websites and later realising the member was a former troublemaker elsewhere, promising not to behave like that again, saying they've changed etc etc

 

[Black Angel]

Ah ok.. gotcha..

In that case, unless that person confessed, how would anyone really know?

I mean I have encountered someone like that who used to be a troublemaker years prior but apologized for their behavior but by then I already knew who they were and the other staff and I had already decided to allow him to stay.

Not gonna lie, this was largely in part because he was not as bad as the kid with 12 accounts and he did explain that his behavior was related to something he was going through back then and came forward because he felt bad about it.

But in that case, we did allow him to stay on and he is actually a very good friend of our family today and has been for more than 12 years..

So, in that case, we would have to go by that person's behavior as we did in this case.

 

[~ True Legend ~]

In that case, unless that person confessed, how would anyone really know?

Exactly, sometimes ppl do, especially if they feel bad about having been nasty to the staff in the past.
And some ppl wouldn't wanna be somewhere they aren't welcome... it would be awkward especially if it's a small close-knit community.

I mean I have encountered someone like that who used to be a troublemaker years prior but apologized for their behavior but by then I already knew who they were and the other staff and I had already decided to allow him to stay.

You mean you'd figured it out prior to him owning up and apologising?

Cancel culture is not a thing. What is perceived as cancel culture, is really just a mass rejection of absurdity (and worse things) and people showing their distaste for that behavior enmasse.

Ironically enough the people I have seen both online and off, that complained about cancel culture, were the biggest practitioner of it themselves. It is like that old saying, be careful who you point your finger at, because you've got 3 more pointing back at you. It really is just projection, and it has applied in others areas too.

Of course. I think it's more that ppl may be going through a rough time or may have been immature at a certain point in their lives - ppl evolve, life evolves. I just don't believe in holding what someone did as a teenager against someone who's now matured into an adult. Usernames can be used by multiple ppl too, if they're commonly used.

 

[Black Angel]

You mean you'd figured it out prior to him owning up and apologising?

Yes. This person was a really big fan of DBZ and even though he had a different username and ip, he still used the avatar and sig set I made him many years ago when he was younger.. and he used his secondary email that was related to his previous one that had been banned under his first account.

Three years had passed between his ban and his return so he was an adult when he came back.

 

[~ True Legend ~]

Yes. This person was a really big fan of DBZ and even though he had a different username and ip, he still used the avatar and sig set I made him many years ago when he was younger.. and he used his secondary email that was related to his previous one that had been banned under his first account.

Three years had passed between his ban and his return so he was an adult when he came back.

You say first account...we were discussing behaviour cross-site. So I guess you are talking about ban evasion here and giving him a chance to stay and prove himself. Sorry, I got the wrong end of the stick

 

[Black Angel]

No what I am saying was that this person was banned years ago on his og account, but then came back years later under a different username and apologized.

I am just saying that we figured out who he was by his posts and the fact that he used the same set I made him from years ago. If he has used a completely different set and didn't give himself away by posting in the topics he did, or confessed to us then we wouldn't have known who he was.

We could say that the fact that he came forward and told us who he was when he could've literally gotten away with it was a sign of maturity. This was one of the things that influenced our decision to let him stay.

I saw this person on another forum, and he actually reached out to me first. Sorry for not clarifying that..

 

[~ True Legend ~]

No what I am saying was that this person was banned years ago on his og account, but then came back years later under a different username and apologized.

I am just saying that we figured out who he was by his posts and the fact that he used the same set I made him from years ago. If he has used a completely different set and didn't give himself away by posting in the topics he did, or confessed to us then we wouldn't have known who he was.

We could say that the fact that he came forward and told us who he was when he could've literally gotten away with it was a sign of maturity. This was one of the things that influenced our decision to let him stay.

I saw this person on another forum, and he actually reached out to me first. Sorry for not clarifying that..

Ah yeah of course, what I meant was being banned on site A, where a member is nasty to you who then comes to site B which you own under a different username and then apologising for behaviour on site A

Whereas you mean someone coming back under a different username on site A (where the original account was banned) itself

 

[Black Angel]

No I got what you meant, that was why I apologized earlier for not clarifying earlier.

Quick question though, would this apply if you were a member on Forum A and sparred with someone on there and that other person ended up being banned from that forum, and then they went on to Forum B where they were a mod of that site and then started talking trash about you to the admin and tried to get you banned over something that happened on Forum A because they still had a grudge against you?

What would you do in that situation?

This is cross-site behavior but instead of that person apologizing, they doubled down and then lied on you to try and get you banned from Forum B.

 

[~ True Legend ~]

No I got what you meant, that was why I apologized earlier for not clarifying earlier.

Quick question though, would this apply if you were a member on Forum A and sparred with someone on there and that other person ended up being banned from that forum, and then they went on to Forum B where they were a mod of that site and then started talking trash about you to the admin and tried to get you banned over something that happened on Forum A because they still had a grudge against you?

What would you do in that situation?

This is cross-site behavior but instead of that person apologizing, they doubled down and then lied on you to try and get you banned from Forum B.

Forum rules are not exhaustive and common sense applies. On pretty much any forum disrespect towards forum staff is not tolerated.

 

[Webster]

Would you ever ban/sanction a member for behaviour on other forums? Is this something you've ever done or something you've considered doing?

Only if they brought whatever drama they did elsewhere to your own board.

 

[Shawn Gossman]

That's really an interesting question.

I guess if it's a bad enough violation that preventing it will help your forum more than having to deal with it when it happens - then maybe? But the violation happening would have to be really bad.

 

[~ True Legend ~]

That's really an interesting question.

I guess if it's a bad enough violation that preventing it will help your forum more than having to deal with it when it happens - then maybe? But the violation happening would have to be really bad.

Yeah or behaviours that have a bad impact on your forum, like spreading misinformation about the staff or even members and driving the members off the board

 

[Shawn Gossman]

Yeah or behaviours that have a bad impact on your forum, like spreading misinformation about the staff or even members and driving the members off the board

Definitely something like that.

But if one member and a forum owner got into it and they want to get them banned everywhere - maybe not something like that which I would assume is probably more likely what happens.

 

[~ True Legend ~]

Definitely something like that.

But if one member and a forum owner got into it and they want to get them banned everywhere - maybe not something like that which I would assume is probably more likely what happens.

Oh yeah of course. It's about protecting your community, not cancel culture. If a member and a forum owner got into it, probably only if it's you who owns the network of forums. You want to protect yourself against reputational damage and thus the damage of your communities lol. Would you agree with that? I mean, you never really know the full story if you weren't involved.