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How to make friends as an adult
- Thread starter Jazzy
- Start date
If I make friends now, it's because I see them reading. Or they're wearing a t-shirt that has something to do with reading. This usually strikes up a conversation.
Workplace is a good area, otherwise hang out areas like bars or comic words.
Regular accidental contact.
Initially this sounds a little like stalking, so I'm going to have to explain a little.
You made friends at school / college because you turned up to places to do 'something'. The people that were there were secondary to your main goal or task. Basically you turned up to math every day and so did the dude sitting 3 seats away. This is the regular accidental contact.
As an adult, this only really happens at work and the age differences can be problematic. This is why people suggest joining sports teams or clubs that meet on a regular basis. You meet up to 'generic sport' and of the 15-20 other people that do there might be 5 that are potential friends. The non-threatening nature of 'I'm here to do something' is basically an excuse to have the regular contact where you find out more about these people and can develop a friendship.
Since this friendship business requires regular contact, places like bars are often pretty poor - unless you are one of the regulars. Sports, Hobby clubs, book groups are all the sort of places that replace the classroom of yesterday.
Adult life makes most of your regular tasks revolve around a small group of people (workmates / family / flatmates), you need to find regular contact groups outside that subset.
Initially this sounds a little like stalking, so I'm going to have to explain a little.
You made friends at school / college because you turned up to places to do 'something'. The people that were there were secondary to your main goal or task. Basically you turned up to math every day and so did the dude sitting 3 seats away. This is the regular accidental contact.
As an adult, this only really happens at work and the age differences can be problematic. This is why people suggest joining sports teams or clubs that meet on a regular basis. You meet up to 'generic sport' and of the 15-20 other people that do there might be 5 that are potential friends. The non-threatening nature of 'I'm here to do something' is basically an excuse to have the regular contact where you find out more about these people and can develop a friendship.
Since this friendship business requires regular contact, places like bars are often pretty poor - unless you are one of the regulars. Sports, Hobby clubs, book groups are all the sort of places that replace the classroom of yesterday.
Adult life makes most of your regular tasks revolve around a small group of people (workmates / family / flatmates), you need to find regular contact groups outside that subset.
It's much harder to make IRL friends as an adult. I have several online but none I met. Plus I'm an introvert. I do much better writing than talking where I get tongue-tied very easily.
I just try to be kind, smile, strike up a conversation. Hopefully would find somebody with like interests.
I just try to be kind, smile, strike up a conversation. Hopefully would find somebody with like interests.
That hasn't worked out very well for me personally. I just end up making enemies and they try to get me fired. ?
Don't sound like very nice people to work with. What's their problem with you?
