Off Topix's Whose Line World's Worst...

[Webster]

Yes, this is another Whose Line thread...this time, its' World's Worst!


World's Worst TV Advertisements
-Webster: Hi, I'm Webster for Slimfast!
-Liberty: Hi, I'm Liberty for the Sarah Palin 2000 Tanning Bed...
-Justice: Its' a breath mint and a suppository!
-Nebulous: Made for a man, but my boyfriend likes it too...
-Justice: ..and if you act right now, we'll throw in one of Webster's Wasatch Range tales...
-Webster: Millions of men in America suffer from constant Pfft! syndrome... *adds deadpan* ..not only am I a member, I'm the Pfft! president!
-Jazzy: Beer! The condom you can trust...
-Liberty: Is your penis too small? Well, if it....ah, s---!
-Stephanie: Is your penis too small?
-Justice: Are you bothered by diar---I'll be right back....
-Jazzy: Are you bothered by strange accents? Then just buy Frankie's "Guide to Dialects"...there's English (Hello!), Spanish (Hello!), Canadian (Hello...)...

 

[Webster]

World's Worst Pastor, Priest or Rabbi
-Nebulous: Hold him still, I've had a drink...
-Freezy: What exactly is a lapdance?
-Webster: Yes, I heard your confession, Richard, and let me tell you: I don't think you had sex with Jazzy...
-Jewel: Yes, you've slept with three men... *whispers loudly* ...she's slept with three men!
-Jazzy: Well, give me ten Hail Marys and a box of Tim Hortons...
-Doc Leftover: If you're turn in your hymnals to page....go, Go, GOOOO!
-Liberty: Today I'll be delivering the sermon as John Wayne..."In the beginning!"
-Webster: Hello, my flock... *starts singing Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Big Butts" song*....

 

[Webster]

World's Worst Person To Be President Of The United States
-Doc Leftover (mimicking Reagan): Hello, remember me?
-Stephanie: My multiple personalities eliminate the need for a two-party system...
-Webster: Ruh roh!
-Liberty: From now on, everyone in Florida shall me named Tim!
-Richard (as Mr. Rogers): Well, its' a beautiful day in the White House...
-Liz: Sometimes I see Freezy's face on the button that activates the bomb....
-Nebulous: This country doesn't need a president, it needs a makeover!
-Webster (mimicking Charles Manson): I'd like you to meet the new members of the Supreme Court....this is Tex, and Squeaky, and...and.....ruh roh!

 

[Webster]

World's Worst Person To Be Leader Of The Free World In A Crisis
-Liberty: Hi, I'm Barack Obama...
-Jazzy (w/nervous expression): Does this shirt make me look kind of boxy?
-Webster: Everyone has launched their missiles, the world will end in thirty minutes....good news is, I'm lowering taxes...
-Richard (as Mr. Rogers): We're having a crisis today...can you say crisis?
-Freezy: Have no fear! Me and my army of conspiracy theorists will make sure everyone is airlifted to the island of Atlantis...
-Webster (as Mickey Mouse): Here I come to save the day....
-Doc Leftover (as himself): We are so screwed!!!
-Liberty: Hi, I'm Nebulous Biden...
-Bea Sunny: We must unite as one....kumbaya...
-Webster: Hey, I got some good news and some bad news...the bad news: we're all going to die in 30 minutes! The good news: Orson Scott Card's going with us!

 

[DrLeftover]

How about "worst newsreader / anchor"

Webster: "Ah, yeah... It's a... you want the good news or bad news?"

Nebulous: "Hang on while we reformat this."

Liberty: "Just change the channel now. I mean it, just change the channel."

Jazzy: "Let me put it so it doesn't hurt your feelings, too much."

Identity: "Well, it's bad there, and bad there, and even worse over there, but, ahh, we're all fine Down Under!"

Freezy: "The truth? You can't handle the truth!"

Icetex: "I'll read it as an RPG character, after these messages."

DocL: "You really don't want to know. Trust me on that one."

Kage: "All the news you need is on FB."

 

[Webster]

That'll work, Doc!

 

[Webster]

World's Worst Psychiatrist
-Doc Leftover: Well, you're nuts!
-Stephanie (while undressing): Yes, Liz, why don't you start with your childhood...
-Kage: You're bipolar? No....ummm, you're schizophrenic? No....uhhh....whatever...
-Liz (while talking to an invisible person): I was just going to ask him....I know, I know!
-Freezy: no, please continue... *starts making fun of patient*
-Jazzy: Will you be happy? *shakes Magic-8 ball* Yes, definitely...
-Nebulous (while wearing a straitjacket): Please, sit down!
-Webster: Penis envy? Look at this! *begins unzipping pants*

 

[Webster]

World's Worst Person To Be Married To
-Webster: Hi! I'm Bill Clinton...
-Liberty: I'm so happy we're married, sis!
-Nebulous: Honey, I'd like you to meet Frank...
-Doc Leftover: Well, another day of helping horses mate!
-Liz: I think I look better in this skirt than Stephanie does...
-Richard: Wait, Jazzy..what'd'ya mean women have orgasms?!?

 

[Webster]

World's Worst Self-Help Instructional Video
-Richard: Hi, I'm Bill Clinton...many of you guys might have problems with the ladies and I'm here to help...
-Webster: I'm John Holmes and I'm going to teach you all about sexual abstinence!
-Freezy: To clap, raise one hand...then the other, bringing them together to make this noise... *clap* ...repeat... *clap* ...repeat...
-Karrit: Hello, dudes, and welcome to How to Deliver A Pizza...
-Richard: Welcome to Dogs Have Prostates Too!
-Doc Leftover: Take the magazine and open it...then lower your pants and sit down...
-Freezy: Hello, and welcome to Drinking for Professionals!
-Jazzy: Oh, those frustrating banana peels! How do you get them off the banana...
-Valentino: Hi, I'm from the NRA and its' Gun Safety-- *shoots herself while demonstrating gun safety*